A weekday letter

Dear Tuesday,

Hi. How are you?

We received your email last night. You know, the one with “Feeling Ignored” written in the subject line. We are not quite sure how you got our email address. Are you a stalker? Wait a minute. We have a contact page. Doh!

Anywho, we wasn’t quite sure how to respond to your email. We mean at first, we were like hold up. Why in the world is this person’s panties in a twist? Assuming that you wear unmentionables of course. Let’s presume you do. K?

But as we began to read your complaints…”No one ever writes about us,” blah, blah, blah. There’s no catchy phrases for our name, blah, blah, blah. Monday always makes fun of us, blah, blah, blah. We started to realize that maybe you are an important part of the week.

Tuesday, we compare you to the middle child. Your a good listener, the communicator of the family, and your always on time. People like you. In fact, they rely on you because without you the week would not be complete.

you should feel good about yourself. We mean, how would you like to be Monday? No one likes Monday. Monday resembles Lindsey Lohan’s jail cell. Wednesday? Can we just say she is a sloot already?! We mean they call her Hump Day for a reason! Thursday is a partier and is always puking because of the serve amount of happy hours she must attend. And Friday, well…maybe you should consider becoming friends with Friday. We hear he does car commercials in Japan.

See, being you isn’t all that bad! You have a lot to offer the world and we apologize if we seem to skip over your existence sometimes, but we don’t do it on purpose.

We promise to make a pretty chocolate dessert for you in the near future in your special honor. Ok?

Sweet. High Five!

Now let’s have a drink!

P. S… Abacus, Complete.